It’s August 18th, 2015… Want to know the truth?
Depleted. Exhausted. And drained.
The worst part about all of this, is that I’ve been feeling this way since last October. That was around the time that my ND diagnosed me with adrenal fatigue, my anxiety had come back full-force, and I was left in a depressive state. That was the first time since in my sobriety that I experienced a bad dip in my emotional health… and I was left to deal with it on my own. No drugs. No alcohol. Just me, and my feelings… crying it all out, curled up on my bed. Despite the recommendations for time-off, I pushed through. I healed my wounds and continued moving forward.
This is a theme in my life. I break down, and I rebuild. That’s what I’ve been doing for the past 24 years of my life… I’ll hit bottom, and I’ll climb back out. No stopping. No pauses. Just forward movement. Since 2012 I’ve experienced the most pivotal shifts of my life, yet I’ve still not taken time to myself. I’ve actually resorted to writing all my shifts out because I hadn’t given myself enough credit for the work that I’ve done since 2012.
I’ve learned to love myself.
I’ve boosted my self-worth.
I’ve cut out all toxic friendships.
I’ve cut out all toxic habits.
I stopped taking my prescription meds for depression and anxiety.
I stopped harming myself.
I am sober.
I’ve learned to deal with things without numbing out.
I created a strong relationship with yoga.
I eat healthy.
I live healthy.
I found my soulmate (we found each other).
I moved countries, leaving behind my entire family and circle of friends.
I’ve restarted my life in a new place, with new people.
I got married.
I’ve attracted a stronger, more supportive circle of friends.
I’ve changed careers.
I’ve gone back to school and graduated with honors.
I’ve created huge leaps in my new coaching career.
My work is published in sites such as Huffington Post, MindBodyGreen, and Guided Mind.
I’ve hosted workshops.
I’ve invested in a business coach.
This is just a small chunk of the changes that I’ve made in my life over the past 3 years. As I look at this list, I am filled with a ridiculous amount of gratitude. I’m here. I’m alive. I’m healthy. But… I haven’t stopped. I have yet to take a break. I have yet to give myself room to breathe. I have yet to show myself the appreciation that I truly deserve.
No wonder I feel drained.
No wonder I feel depleted.
No wonder I feel exhausted.
I’m finally in a place where I fully love my life and aligned with my purpose, on the cusp of phenomenal things in my business… but I’m drained. It’s like my soul is running on full speed but my body can’t keep up. My physical health is struggling. My emotional health is beginning to take a toll again. And this time, I’m listening.
It’s crazy to think that I can dish out juicy self-love advice, but not take it myself. So here I am… writing this post… letting you know that I’m taking my own advice by taking much-needed time off work. Not just a little time… I’m taking a full 30 days.
There’s this voice within me that’s fighting this, telling me things like “How can you afford to take time off during the building phase of your business?” and “What have you done to deserve this time off?” Here’s how I reply to that bitchy inner critic…
I CAN afford this time off.
Without me, there is no business. My business right now is to take care of me so I can best serve my Tribe.
I deserve this time off.
I’ve worked hours upon hours, changing every single aspect of my life for the better, serving others along the way without properly serving myself. This is my time to heal. My time to feel nurtured and my time to grow. This is my time to focus on me, and not feel an ounce of guilt about it.
I want to be in a place of service. I want to shine my light so brightly that it will inspire others to shine theirs. I want to give to others from a place of wholeness, not depletion. This is why I’m dedicating the next 30-days to me.
Why am I sharing this with you? Two reasons: Accountability (I can’t back down now) and expectations.
I won’t be online as much. I won’t be updating my social media accounts every hour—heck, I won’t even be updating them every day. Vlogs? They can wait. Blogs? Those too. I will remain 150% dedicated to my clients, but the rest of the time is all about me. If I don’t reply to Facebook messages on time, please don’t take offence. If I fail to update my Facebook status a few days in a row, know that it’s because I’m just doing me.
Social media can wait.
My business will still thrive. And at the end of this, I will be better… stronger… and a heck of a lot healthier, completely ready to serve on a level that I’ve yet to reach.
I’ll be cutting my work hours to 3-4 hours per day, 4-5 days per week. The rest of the time is dedicated to the things that will help me rest and heal: sleep, yoga, reading, writing, and showing myself real love. Those things take priority right now.
Self-love is a game-changer.
If I wasn’t in a place where I truly loved myself, I wouldn’t be able to make a decision like this. My physical and emotional health takes priority. All else can wait. I am aligned with my purpose and completely congruent with what I teach. This is my time to refuel, reboot, and heal so that I can come back and step fully into my light. Even healers need healing, and I’m not afraid to admit that.
Love & Light,