There it is again… That unwelcome feeling of emotional pain. It seems to hit you out of nowhere like a hard punch to the face. Despite this pain being emotional, it makes it’s way through your physical body, vibrating through every cell and into every heartbeat. The pain is like nothing you’ve ever experienced, but at the same time it’s so familiar because you have in fact felt something similar before. For some reason, every pain just feels a little different, and the more emotional pain we build up, the harder it becomes to break free from it. It becomes all too comfortable, like your snuggly fleece blanket… You want to take it off but are afraid that you may feel cold… that you may experience something different. So you remain in that place of feeling hurt; of experiencing emotional pain.
Why does this discomfort feel so comfortable? Why do we take solace in our pain? It’s because that’s something we know – it’s familiar and that familiarity is what keeps us stuck. We’re naturally inclined to fear the unknown and for so many of us, a happy life is unknown. Sadly, anything that we deem unknown is automatically categorized as uncomfortable and foreign. So we remain stuck in our pain, wallowing in our own personal pity party, stuck in a cycle of hurt. But what would happen if we decided to venture off into the unknown; into that foreign place of discomfort? Something pretty freakin’ amazing would happen…
We would heal.
Healing begins the moment we face our pain. The moment we choose to step into that place of discomfort (otherwise known as happiness), is the moment our energy shifts so our healing can begin. It is a choice that we have but don’t often make:
Do I choose to dwell in my pain?
Do I choose to heal?
The choice to hurt or to heal is ultimately ours to make.
Sure, it may feel easier to remain seated in that painful place… it may feel comfortable and familiar… but is that a choice that honors us in the highest good? Of course not. What would truly honor us in the highest good would be to make the choice to heal; to learn from the experience, to forgive and release, and to move forward. What would honor our being is the choice that leads us to happiness and love.
So how do we get to that place of healing? How do we muster up the strength we need to face our pain? Here’s how…
- Acknowledge your pain: It’s there, it’s real, and it’s valid. Never reject your feelings of emotional pain… you’re feeling those emotions for a reason.
- Accept your pain: It’s ok. What you’re experiencing is ok. Accept your pain, feel your pain, and own it (feel to heal).
- Understand your pain: Where does this pain come from? What is the root of our pain? We cannot fully heal until we fully understand what it is that we are healing from.
- Ask yourself: What would it feel like to be healed from this pain? By asking yourself this simple question, you begin to focus on the outcome of being healed and in that moment, you truly experience the feeling of being healed. Once you experience that feeling, you get a taste for it and you’ll begin to crave more.
- Do the work: Healing doesn’t just magically occur… you have to work to heal your pain. Making the choice to heal is the first step of the healing process, but you must heal yourself to heal your pain. Ask yourself…
“What do I need right now?”
“What would help me heal?”
“What steps do I take to heal this pain?”
These 3 questions will help you create your action plan to heal.
5. Love yourself: Be gentle with yourself throughout this process by harnessing that love within you.
Since every experience, every person, and every pain is different, there isn’t a single cookie-cutter action plan to heal. My biggest recommendation to creating a loving, healing shift is to ensure you cover all bases: Heal your mind, body and soul. Combine mental activity (such as journaling) with physical activity (such as yoga) and soul activity (such as meditation).
To hurt or to heal? That is a choice that you have.
What will you choose the next time you experience emotional pain?
Ruby Fremon is a Self-Love Coach determined to help others create positive life transformations through the power of self-love. From living a life of self-destruction to a life of love and positivity, Ruby has created those massive shifts by learning to harness the power of self-love.
Ready to transform your life? Take the first step by committing to a Transformational Self-Love Coaching Journey with Ruby. Receive your FREE 20-minute consultation here.