My journey in owning my voice
My journey in owning my voice
The moment you realize your whole life was created by you–the bad parts, the good parts, and everything in between–that you realize it all comes down to YOU, that’s the moment everything changes. That’s the moment when you realize you have the unstoppable power to create whatever you want. You can own your bad decisions and turn that shit around to make better choices and decisions, reframe what’s possible, fill yourself up with confidence, and take back your power to create an incredible life.
My journey led me to help people find their voices and rise up as leaders, but it started when I had to first own my own voice… and that was a major roller-coaster ride.
When I was 13, I started my battle with depression and anxiety. Back then, no one really talked about these issues, especially in my culture and community. It just wasn’t something that was addressed, much less for moody teenagers. It was a battle I had to fight on my own as I tried to manage the rough terrain of what was going on in my mind and the mood swings that would sneak up without any warning. I went to college and got married really young, at the age of 20.
That was when shit really hit the fan.
No longer manageable, in addition to anxiety and depression I was also dealing with PTSD and fibromyalgia and became addicted to one of my many prescriptions. That’s when my journey to rock-bottom kicked into high gear. I thought I could hide my pain and by the time I was 23, I had unsuccessfully attempted suicide. When I came to and realized I was still alive, it hit me hard–I needed to change my path and change my life. I sought holistic support and naturopathic remedies. I left my husband after five years of marriage, which was extra hard as it is horribly frowned upon in my culture as the worst thing I could do.
At 26, I lived alone for the first time in my life and realized I had never really had a life or voice of my own before. I started going out and partying and started working in the nightlife scene. As a nightclub marketing director, my life was glamorous, fun, and big; but, it also had a dark side. Drugs were everywhere and standard. Everyone was doing them and it was totally normal to me that I do them too. I became an addict without even knowing it. I started dating another addict in the scene. I always needed to be on something and after 4.5 years, I was deep in it. I pushed my family and all of my non-nightlife, sober friends away and spent all my time with toxic people. I came home depressed because deep down, I knew this wasn’t me–this wasn’t my voice. I was just trying to fit in and it was literally killing me.
My relationship came to end in 2012 when I found out he was cheating on me the whole time, with pretty much all of my friends. And really, the proof had been there before, but I had ignored it. I immediately played the victim. Why do shitty things keep happening to me?
Why don’t people appreciate who I am?
Why does the world want me to be unhappy?
I had myself this little pity party, and then I let the moment pass. I was going to change this time. I was going to kick my drug habit and toxic relationships to the curb. I would do better this time, for myself.
I saw that I had the power of choice and just hadn’t recognized or claimed it before. Everything in my life was the direct result of all of MY choices… and it was time to make better ones. I got rid of 80% of the people I hung out with. I went to yoga. I started eating healthy. I got better.
I’d like to say everything was different from then on, but it wasn’t the end. There were still ups and downs. There would be a streak of four healthy days, only to then go on a three-day party bender–and this would happen for weeks on end. People think rock-bottom is a one-time thing, but it’s not. I hovered there. Binge partying was a big part of my life because I still didn’t know what to do with my emotions, and I still didn’t have my own identity. It’s like I got good at being really good, and then really good at fucking up.
At a club in 2012, I fainted and was knocked out when my head hit the concrete floor. When I came to, I didn’t go to a hospital right away. When I did go a couple days later, I was diagnosed with a concussion, then PCD (Post Concussion Syndrome), which lasted two months until I could be properly medicated. For those two months, I was alone. I was in pain. I couldn’t work. I had no idea what was going on. I was scared. I slipped into a manic-depressive state and couldn’t string words together. The only thing I could do was cry. When I did finally get medical help and they discovered the nerve damage and medicated it correctly, that’s when I really changed.
I believe the universe literally knocked me off my ass on purpose.
I would finally be fully committed. My intentions would become realities. I would become a whole new person, no longer the victim, but the victor.
I knew big changes had to mean moving and taking control of my career. I started to look for new jobs and companies. I committed to finding work and moving to LA by the end of the following year. Through this drive to make it happen, I found this start-up company that looked cool and saw they were running a social media contest. I entered and won, so the founder emailed me. He was cool and flirty. But by then, I was so used to dating the wrong men, I thought a super smart, cool, hot guy who owns his own company wouldn’t want me. Still, we stayed in contact. When I started to really come into my own with my transformation, he could see it. He wanted to give us a shot. I said yes. I was ready. Five months later, we were engaged and I moved to LA–and it happened before the end of the year like I said!
I’ve always been open. I shared a lot of my journey online, and people would constantly message me on social media to thank me. World-renowned artists and DJs thanking me because they were going through the same thing. I found my voice and I was now using it for good. That’s when it kicked in–I knew I could help and serve people by helping them to find their own voice. I went to school to become a life coach and started to coach people. I’m here to create a big impact. I’m here to help others own their opinions. Own their place. Rise up as leaders and use their voice and create an army of voices, here to make a change, for themselves and for others.
So get out of our way. I’m building an army of voices and thought leaders. And we’re coming.
Are you ready to rise up, stand out and gain visibility for your mission? Good. Let’s get started.
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Ruby Fremon’s Bio
Life + Influencer Coach
Coaching the New Generation of Thought Leaders
Ruby is the coach for the new generation of thought leaders. As a Top Breakthrough Coach for purpose-driven leaders who are ready to bring their big missions into the spotlight, her no-bullshit approach ignites true transformation, while flipping fear into actualized
Ruby works with leaders, from artists to entrepreneurs, who are ready to rise above their limitations and amplify their message. Coaching 100+ clients, she is a catalyst for change and hugely successful at helping her clients embody radical resiliency and an unstoppable mentality.
Named “An Inspirational Woman” by The Huffington Post and an “Icon of Influence” at the 2018 New Media Summit, Ruby is the visionary behind Amplified Soul Live®, an annual three-day transformative leadership event. She is the founder of the Thought Leader Collective and host of “Today’s Thought Leader”
Learn more about Ruby at rubyfremon.com or follow her online @iamruby.