“I can’t believe this is happening to me!”
“What did I do to deserve this?”
“Why do these things always happen to me?”

Sound familiar?

Do you often find yourself stuck in this place of negativity? Surrounded by awful experiences, toxic people, and horrible events? Yes, the all too familiar ‘victim mentality’, or as I like to call it, the ‘woe-is-me mentality’. I can relate, because that was how I chose to live my life up until 2012. Notice how I use the word “chose”…

The Universe guides us along our path, but it’s also gifted us with a beautiful thing called CHOICE. We always have the right to choose – in every single situation and experience – we make choices. And the accumulation of all our life choices leads us to where we stand today. Now, I really want to emphasize this, so I’m about to get super real and crazy blunt…

The only person responsible for the state of your life, is you.
Someone else didn’t do this to you. You did this to you.
Someone else didn’t punish you. You are punishing you.
The life around you is a direct reflection of the life within you.

YOU are responsible for the state of your life.

Breathe that in. Whoa, right? I call this my ‘Shake-Your-Shoulders’ reality check. For a lot of you, your minds have probably gone straight to defense mode…

“But I didn’t choose to be dumped like that! He/She dumped me!”
“But I didn’t choose to be hurt by them! They hurt me!”
“But I didn’t choose to be fired from work! They fired me!”

Yes, I know I’ve most likely definitely stirred up some shit within a lot of you, but I’m sticking to what I’m saying because I’ve lived through it. In 2012, I ended a 4.5 year relationship that was verbally and emotionally abusive. I ended because I found out that he’d been cheating on me the entire time with multiple women – some of which were my ‘friends’. Talk about a mind-f*ck right? This was the incident that opened my eyes to my personal responsibility… I had been in a few toxic relationships prior to this one and noticed that they were getting progressively worse. This particular relationship left me feeling completely depleted and not aligned with who I truly was. I could have easily taken the ‘woe-is-me’ route as I had so many times in the past…

“Why did he cheat on me? How could he do this to me?”

But I didn’t. Instead, I began to reflect. Did the Universe really hate me so much that it continued to send horrible men my way? No. So what was going on? Well, the only commonality between all of these experiences, was me. I was the common denominator.
So what was I doing wrong?

I was choosing to accept these men in my life.
That’s right, I chose them, and then I chose to keep them.

Holy moly, talk about a pivotal life-changing moment!

Fact: My ex cheated on me.
Fact: My ‘friends’ lied to me.
Fact: I chose to stay for 4.5 years.

I’m not stupid. I had my suspicions throughout the relationship, but I chose to ignore them. That was my choice. So how did I go from leading a series of unhealthy, toxic relationships to loving and fulfilling relationships?
Simple. I began to own my shit.

When you choose to remain a victim, you are choosing to remain stuck. You fail to see the lessons that these experiences offer, and you don’t allow yourself the opportunity to move forward. When you don’t own our experiences, those experiences hold power over you. This is why you feel so powerless when it comes to your life.

You’ve given up your power!

When you own your experiences, you take responsibility. Through this ownership, you open yourself up to seeing the lessons that these experiences offer, and through those lessons, you gain the opportunity to move forward and become ‘unstuck’. When you own your experiences, you become empowered by them; you become the creator of your life. Now how freakin’ awesome is that?

Whatever happens in your life – no matter how awful it may be – remember, that you always have a choice.

Own your shit so you can stop being a victim.
Own your shit so you can take back control of your life.
Own your shit so you can create the life that you truly want to live.
Own your shit, and become empowered.

Ready to own your shit and transform your life?
Seeking a little guidance along the way?
Someone who can help you co-create the life you truly desire?
I can help.
Take that first step with me HERE.

Ruby Fremon (@iamruby)

Ruby Fremon is a Coach, Intuitive, and Healer determined to help others release their toxic patterns and reignite happiness. From living a life of self-destruction to a life of love and positivity, Ruby has created those massive shifts by taking ownership, and harnessing the power of self-love.

Ready to transform your life? Take the first step by committing to a coaching journey with Ruby. Receive your FREE consultation here.